TGIW (Thank Goodness I’m Whining)

Whining – yeah I had a lot of complaining to do. It’s all justified! The world sometimes decides to turn in the oppostie direction for me. I react in kind.

Firstly last week, I was opening my blueberry Chobani yogurt when I noticed it was a little blue-er than usual. Also fuzzier. How does yogurt mold?! I guess Chobani must have less preservatives than typical yogurt or what not. This also brings up that endlessly unfunny pun about what bacteria-laden yogurt becomes when it goes bad – milk? Cream? Hardy har. Nope I guess it just goes ’badder’.

So I called them up right then, and got through to an operator quickly, which means that they are no inundated with calls about their ironic yogurt. Hipster Yogurt if you will. Please don’t.

Phone Operator Lady gave enough sad vocal inflections of empathy to comfort my harrowing experience and assured me that coupons would be on the way, to pat my head, tell me everything would be ok and fill mah belleh.

 Sure enough, a mere 4 days later, a hand-written addressed envelope arrived with coupons inside. Four of ‘em!

Whining_2.

So there I was ordering from Secondspin.com *no I will not automatically link them, do it yo bad self* as they were having one of their usual limited time (until the next time they have a sale which will be right after the current one; maybe not as good a deal as the one that they had before, but they are set up to rotate, so if you miss it just wait a month or two, because really anything you buy there is not something you need right this second – if it was you would have ordered it at the time you saw the sale, like I did, which is the point of this entry) offers.

So while searching, I found a 2DVD set of THX1138 and The Matrix. If you are a nerd, you just climaxed (by yourself, which is normal). For the other 99% (no not you Occupiers, sit the fuck down), you don’t care or are preparing to make fun of me. Bam! Added to my shopping cart with other stuff, all while ignoring your mockery.

An acceptable amount of time passes (standard shipping) and finally I get it! Hurrah! Only it’s delivered to my parents’ house, even though I set my new address the same as my billing one (which also means I haven’t ordered from them in a long while, sale or no sale). Whatevs. So I pop it open and everything is there. Only thing – the DVD is The Matrix, and only The Matrix. ‘The One’ if you will (Please don’t). Argh.  Dammitall. So I write to them explaining the situation and trying not to sound like the whiny pathetic nerd I am, and they responded, as they promise, within a day.  Have no fear, nerd, we have the correct copy coming for you. Just hold on to what you got as a token of our sorryness.

So I wait, again, for a reasonable amount of time, and about a week or two later, Zaloom! It arrives at my parents’ house, again. I grab the envelope, open it up…it’s another copy of The Matrix! OMGWTFBBQ?! Now it’s just awesomely bad. Two copies of a movie that is incorrect. I email them yet again, and tell them that at this point I have two copies of a movie that is incorrect and I don’t want them, yet I am not willing to pay to ship them back. Never fear nerd, they wrote back (again within a day as they promise) here is a shipping label. Send them back and we will credit or refund your account. Now I just need to swipe an envelope from my office in a fearless act of misappropriation and I am set!

Whining_3.

                Well more of a rant. I cannot stand the downstairs neighbor. He plays his TV loudly (watches old sitcoms, yeah it’s that loud you can tell what show it is by the elaborate theme songs shows USED to have), and puts on oldies – I mean really old oldies. DUSTIES. 95% sure they are records/LPs. At 2am (yes I am an insomniac; I guess he is too). Anyway he sings loudly; usually to his cat. Typical old guy who is going deaf but too cheap to buy a hearing aid. Probably thinks it will make him look/feel old. Hate to give him the news.  But yes it is bad enough that a note on his door will have to be left.

Whining_4.

                Dear Snow,  
Falling on a weekend is pointless, as instead of a SNOW DAY (as in day off work) you are merely a snowy day. Note the lack of emphasis. Pick either a Sunday evening (11pm) or Thursday, same time. I appreciate your time, and hope to see a nice blanket of you during Smarch at the latest, but not when I am looking to leave on vacation.
The B_T
Movie Reviews are next, and I will wonder if I can include movie posters for the shows. I will attempt it!

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1 Comment

Filed under Complaints, Creative Writing, Day In the Life, Rants, Uncategorized, Whining

One response to “TGIW (Thank Goodness I’m Whining)

  1. Thank you for making me laugh. I keep hoping for snow too but really only if it’s a SNOW DAY since I don’t feel as if I’ve hibernated nearly enough yet this winter.

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