3 a: a circumstance or action that offends propriety or established moral conceptions or disgraces those associated with it
b : a person whose conduct offends propriety or morality
Use the word. Add 32-332 other words around it and you got yerself an entry.
Well I got a scandal. One more horrifying than text messages from gross politicians. Yeah, THAT terrifying.
My apologies to New Jerseyians, who are actually my biggest fans on here.
If you know what movies I am referring to in the third paragraph, you are my new best friend.
For now, let’s delve a little more deeply into the saga of…the Zombie Bunnies. *cue scary music*
Deep inside the headquarters of KillEmAll* Industries, the mood was bleak, as usual. They were in crisis mode, also as usual.
PJ Appleby was stewing as he assessed the latest situation with his assistants. “Ok, so we’re missing a container.” This was unusual; they were usually missing more than one; the Applebys believed in shipping cheaply. “What kind of environmental hazards are we looking at?”
One of his subordinates looked up from the map that was spread out on the table. “According to this, there were no graveyards along the route the driver took. No beaten paths in the Deep South near moonshiners, and he definitely didn’t drive through New Jersey at all. So all potential hazards, or plot lines to ‘B’ movies, were avoided. Except, well…”
“Well, what?” Appleby demanded.
“There is some farmland. Particularly this place.” He pointed to an area circled in red. “It’s a cabbage farm. Some old man owns it, usually complains about how the noise from trucks makes his crops wilt; even when we paid him a visit to point out how the active road helps control the rabbit population, he wouldn’t listen.”
Appleby considered this. A crazy old farmer -that’s not so bad. A little intimidation, maybe buy a few cabbages in goodwill, and they could weather this brewing scandal. God bless all the crazy farmers who grow the food that goes to America’s dinner tables.
“Ok, scramble the guys in dark suits and minivans to do their thing.” Before they wrapped up the meeting, Appleby asked another assistant; “What are the side effects of that last batch we shipped?”
“Inconclusive. Actually I haven’t gotten a report from the cute fuzzy animals lab. In fact I haven’t heard from them in some time.” He shrugged. “Eh, I’m sure they’re fine.”
*Named after Killian, Emma and Allen Appleby, the three children of PJ Appleby, discount greeting card magnate. Why, what were you thinking? Oh right, the discount chemical weapons he made his second billion on. Gotcha.