ODNT’s Writing Challenge – Letter #11

Well the Writing Challenges continue! You never know where they will pop up.

Ms. ODNT is hosting a challenge as we speak! It’s part of the Check Your Email Dude series, which came to an end…or has it? It is up to US to collectively keep it going.

Well I read through the previous and they seem like enterprising fellows. All they need is a little inspiration…

__________________________________________
Bill,

Welp a lots been up since we last spoke. Mrs J. has been hauling me all up and down the countryside, wine country, she says. So we switched palms for bushes, but at least no cactuses around here. Booze is booze I know, and though you gotta stand acting like you ain’t there to get a buzz (no tv’s to watch the game), they got some good snacks sometimes, some cheeses are all smelly and one was made of mold someone said, but they got ham so I can make little sandwiches. So I’m standin around drinking down some of the red stuff and some of the white stuff, when some other guy tries to talk to me, asking about how I liked the body, and I realize he’s talking about the wine. How can water have a body, except maybe a body of water? So I ask him, you mean like an ocean or something, and he got all excited, went on about how the vineyard was right on the coast, and yes the ocean spray got all over it, so he was all impressed and offered me and the lady a tour of the cellar right then and there. Mrs. J was all up on the offer before I could call it off, so down I went (to the cellar). It was dim and dusty down there, and a lot of barrels. He was going on about different wines and kept on saying vintage a lot. Some of the bottles were real old, like 20, 30 years. I start thinking and I had a relevation.

Forget the beer, what about water? I had a whole pool fulla vintage water. Maybe it picked up some of that ocean spray, or maybe some chemicals have been added to everyone else’s water except mine. You know, like how the water is supposed to be better in New York, that’s why they got good bagels. I could put it in some bottles (I got a bin with empties innit, I could just peel off the labels and slap on my own kind). I’m a little mad though; I scraped this layer of gunk off the pool last month- it smelled a little like that cheese. I coulda had some of those people over to try a little water and use that stuff for a spread.

Tell me what you think, and let me know if you got any bottles before turning them in.

Jud

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4 Comments

Filed under Creative Writing, General Nerdliness, Writing, Writing Challenges

4 responses to “ODNT’s Writing Challenge – Letter #11

  1. “So I’m standin around drinking down some of the red stuff and some of the white stuff, when some other guy tries to talk to me, asking about how I liked the body, and I realize he’s talking about the wine. How can water have a body, except maybe a body of water?”

    You people are all SO good at this stuff. This is exactly the kind of thing these dudes would have written. Excellent entry. Thanks for playing!

    (I don’t know HOW we’re going to pick a winner.)

  2. The thing about the little sandwiches made me laugh out loud. I can totally picture the guy who would write this one.

  3. Pingback: Wake up, ODNT! You forgot about the Jud & Bill Contest. « olddognewtits

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