Less of More in ‘One Four

For all I wanted to get done (which is a lot), there is even more I want less of.

The phrase “Let’s have/We had that conversation” – When first thunk up and unleashed upon the world, that phrase seemed to be in the context of meaningful social or current issues (you know, the things not discussed on the internet). At a recent meeting, I started to keep tally of one person who used it about 6 times, she ‘had that conversation’ with everyone she encountered. I also added one more to the total, as I am sure she related the meeting in another conversation.

Also, “’So and so’ won the internet” – winning the internet is not a prize…except YOUR blog, that is. I would rather win cash or the equivalent in Sports Illustrated Swimsuit models, and let you keep your blog, so you can keep putting out awesomeness.

Cell phone photos, including selfies. ‘Selfies’ was the Oxford word of the year, and I wonder what word got eliminated from dictionaries to make room for that and ‘twerking’. In fact, there should be less cell phone photos being taken. Phones should have a limit of 10 photos a day – back in my day we had film and every picture you took had to count, cuz dammit you had to pay to get them developed. Now anyone can take 50 photos of the same damn thing, quickly and without care to the details, hoping 1-2 come out useful. Quality, not quantity!

Taking offense to anything not directed at you. Unless the media outlets call YOU out on your life, your view, or your job, there is no reason to get hurty feelings on anything. That leads to you being angry, which equals wasted time. Also if the media outlets call you out for anything, it’s the same as winning the internet. They used to cover important people, now you are the new Honey Boo Boo. Then again, if you manage to get interviewed by a reporter on the street, well good for you! (skip to about 2:00 in, if you want)

Meme’s. for instance, there’s one of ‘Willy Wonka’ with random captions that refute the logic of any opinion which has opened the eyes of no one ever. All it proves is that Gene Wilder was a better Willy Wonka than Johnny Depp.

Less Johnny Depp playing eccentric characters that get higher billing than the main actors. Bonus of less hangout time with Tim Burton. Now before you throttle me about the face and torso for this statement, I suggest perhaps he spend more time acknowledging/visiting/whisking away to a tropical island those of you who write letters, dedicate blogs, and who have added the laborious task of slathering him in sunscreen several times a day (and oddly enough, night), to bucket lists. You’re welcome.

Anything remade or retro 80’s without acknowledgement that the reason for bringing it back is because the 80’s were totally radical (to the max). There is a reason why a new version of RoboCop is in theaters (well not a good one) but as a comparison to why “Face-Off” will (hopefully) never be ‘rebooted’. Never say never, though.

Holiday car commercials. Why are they still showing Michael Bolton serenading new car owners?! The Honda da..I mean Holidays are over! Saying that this travesty should end isn’t something to be bookmarked for next November, but right now.

Losing the Lottery. I have purchased more than enough tickets with non-winning numbers on them. Time to start picking those correct ones. Either that, or let me get struck by lightning while fighting off hippopotamuses with Kate Upton, who decided to go out with me. (Well not everyone wants Johnny Depp. For some reason, right?).

So what do YOU want less of this year?

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11 Comments

Filed under Complaints, Life, Lists, Politics, Resolutions, Retro, Whining

11 responses to “Less of More in ‘One Four

  1. Gene Wilder was not only a better Willy Wonka than Johnny Depp, but he would have been a better Tonto.

  2. So how would you feel about Johnny Depp playing emotive soft-rocker Michael Bolton in the Tim Burton directed “Return to the 80s”?

  3. Hahaha…you crack me up! I’d take money over the internet any day. I agree that we should get rid of holiday car commercials (or Michael Bolton?) and it’s about time you win the lottery! (I don’t want the hassle of fighting off long-lost family members 🙂 )

  4. Hahaha I like the less selfies part. What you ‘disdain’ (for lack of a better term) about digicams is the very same thing I find so wonderful: limitless shots without cost. 🙂
    On a more serious note, I second the “taking offense at anything not directed at you” part.

    • Thanks! I agree that having limitless shots has an advantage over limited film. In either case, sometimes the best snapshot is just looking at whatever it is and preserving the memory.

  5. fun, acerbic post. I agree with almost all of it–confess to adoring the irony of the Gene Wilder meme, it satirizes itself so nicely–love your use of technical jargon: hurty feelings (way too much of that goin’ on!) and oh. The 80’s WERE radical–and back then…we thought the 60’s were radical. It’s a hop, skip and a generational thing.

    Damn. I am glad we had this conversation, now I must away. those selfies are not going to snap themselves…;)

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