|Ms Mel and ODNT want you to revisit another entry of yours.|
This seems fitting to update.
in 2012, I wrote this first post on what I was going to do for Lent. I don’t think I actually decided on anything.
In 2013, I made a choice – I gave up ‘seconds’ in food. I was gaining a little weight, but more than that, I was gaining bad food habits; mainly taking more of something- another helping of rice, chips, cookies, meatballs and pasta, etc. I mean, seconds on veggies isn’t so bad, but that’s not what I was doing. So I made the rule – I can pile it on a plate, bowl, whatever, but that’s all I can have. At first, I took the liberties; a big bowl of pasta and 3 meatballs. The thing is that I don’t eat that at one quick sitting, so what was I actually doing? I hardly finished it, and when I did, there were no firsts on dessert! Gradually I realized that I was portioning out exactly what I thought I would be able to eat and not save for leftovers. As my portions and habits went back to normal, so did my weight (also my energy went back up a bit). Even on Easter Sunday and beyond, the one plateful rule was still in effect. Still is.
Now for this year, I am doing something different.
There is a lot of talk regarding the idea of ‘giving up’ something. Much like a new year’s resolution, everything sounds awesome, doable and a mark of your strong character & faith. So you give up chocolate or cursing.
And you last a day, then get Catholic guilt.
So now it is the emphasis of doing something GOOD each day. Good for you, society, your faith, or just your general well being.
I like that last bit. On that note, I had some unexpected news on Ash Wednesday that rattled me a bit.
(Side note – I got my ashes. Dude, check out the job the priest did!)
Ok back to that feeling. I’m giving up something. Doubts.
Doubt that I can lead others in a good direction. Doubt that despite my awesomeness*, (whatever) it (is) can and will happen. Doubt or second-guessing any/every decision I make. None of those fcuking things that keep
me everyone up at 3am.
Already I feel this challenging me, and I bite it back and down. I’ll make it, maybe not perfectly, but I will emerge after 40 days having replaced doubt completely with something very different. Something better.
It might make it easier to look at it in comparison – chocolate would be waaaay harder than this.**
*notice that I have no doubts about that.
**Case in point – Double chocolate & cherry brownies.
Original Recipe found at Kary Osmond.