Category Archives: Whining

Less of More in ‘One Four

For all I wanted to get done (which is a lot), there is even more I want less of.

The phrase “Let’s have/We had that conversation” – When first thunk up and unleashed upon the world, that phrase seemed to be in the context of meaningful social or current issues (you know, the things not discussed on the internet). At a recent meeting, I started to keep tally of one person who used it about 6 times, she ‘had that conversation’ with everyone she encountered. I also added one more to the total, as I am sure she related the meeting in another conversation.

Also, “’So and so’ won the internet” – winning the internet is not a prize…except YOUR blog, that is. I would rather win cash or the equivalent in Sports Illustrated Swimsuit models, and let you keep your blog, so you can keep putting out awesomeness.

Cell phone photos, including selfies. ‘Selfies’ was the Oxford word of the year, and I wonder what word got eliminated from dictionaries to make room for that and ‘twerking’. In fact, there should be less cell phone photos being taken. Phones should have a limit of 10 photos a day – back in my day we had film and every picture you took had to count, cuz dammit you had to pay to get them developed. Now anyone can take 50 photos of the same damn thing, quickly and without care to the details, hoping 1-2 come out useful. Quality, not quantity!

Taking offense to anything not directed at you. Unless the media outlets call YOU out on your life, your view, or your job, there is no reason to get hurty feelings on anything. That leads to you being angry, which equals wasted time. Also if the media outlets call you out for anything, it’s the same as winning the internet. They used to cover important people, now you are the new Honey Boo Boo. Then again, if you manage to get interviewed by a reporter on the street, well good for you! (skip to about 2:00 in, if you want)

Meme’s. for instance, there’s one of ‘Willy Wonka’ with random captions that refute the logic of any opinion which has opened the eyes of no one ever. All it proves is that Gene Wilder was a better Willy Wonka than Johnny Depp.

Less Johnny Depp playing eccentric characters that get higher billing than the main actors. Bonus of less hangout time with Tim Burton. Now before you throttle me about the face and torso for this statement, I suggest perhaps he spend more time acknowledging/visiting/whisking away to a tropical island those of you who write letters, dedicate blogs, and who have added the laborious task of slathering him in sunscreen several times a day (and oddly enough, night), to bucket lists. You’re welcome.

Anything remade or retro 80’s without acknowledgement that the reason for bringing it back is because the 80’s were totally radical (to the max). There is a reason why a new version of RoboCop is in theaters (well not a good one) but as a comparison to why “Face-Off” will (hopefully) never be ‘rebooted’. Never say never, though.

Holiday car commercials. Why are they still showing Michael Bolton serenading new car owners?! The Honda da..I mean Holidays are over! Saying that this travesty should end isn’t something to be bookmarked for next November, but right now.

Losing the Lottery. I have purchased more than enough tickets with non-winning numbers on them. Time to start picking those correct ones. Either that, or let me get struck by lightning while fighting off hippopotamuses with Kate Upton, who decided to go out with me. (Well not everyone wants Johnny Depp. For some reason, right?).

So what do YOU want less of this year?

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Filed under Complaints, Life, Lists, Politics, Resolutions, Retro, Whining

Ladies and Gentlement, Let’s All Give it up For…Lent!

Trying to figure out what I should be giving up for Lent. No I am not giving up Netflix, cookies, drinking, my phone, or borrowing books when I already have a stack to read. So that pretty much covers everything. I was thinking ‘desserts’, that is to say nothing AFTER dinner. So I can eat cookies midday and that does not count. This would not include warm milk, which might help me sleep, but I cannot add chocolate to it. Or whipped cream, a run of chocolate and a sprinkle of cinnamon. Well maybe JUST the cinnamon in my milk, that’s really nothing.

I will defer it if I am going out for dinner at a nice restaurant; the point for this is that I would not be going out to that particular place for dessert only, unless it is a specific dessert place that we go AFTER eating dinner. In that case (example: Juniors), I can always take a big hunk of cheesecake home (and eat it for breakfast! Yeah that’s right, I can have it for breakfast. Just try and stop me from slathering it on my pancakes!), it’s close and easy to get to for me (probably one of the best attributes of NYC besides the Met museum that I can think of), and that whenever I go to Junior’s to eat, I am either too full from eating the huge portions and generous sides. Or too buzzed- because holy crap they make some strooooong drinks. Since alcohol and sugar are direct relatives, having one and the other can easily lead to getting sick to your stomach, I almost always avoid it.

Speaking of booze, cordial drinks or ‘nightcaps’ do not count, be they Port, Sambuca, Amaretto, or Bailey’s, because, like warm milk they help me sleep and I need all the help I can get. Then again, I don’t really drink them that often, so it would be like giving up fast food, which I can do 40 days of being away from. Maybe that’s not a fair comparison; alcohol has even the slightest chance of having a benefit for your health, is very satisfying, and I’ll wager you can’t tell me when a couple of Big Macs have made a person more appealing in personality or looks.

Ok well scratch those last two. According to my assistants, who are not buzzkills, but the voices of reason to my wayward antics and crazy ideas, cinnamon in warm milk is a dessert (this required some debate), and cordials were immediately shot down. I’m glad that they are secure enough to be honest with me, as well as having no fear that I will have them punch out for the day and send them into the dreary windy Firday, especially since today is so incredibly slow that we can have deep introspective conversations like this ‘on the clock’.

As well as ‘giving something up’ it follows along my POV that if you can give it up for 40 days, maybe it’s part of a lifestyle change for the better. For example, I am pretty sure I gave up playing Mafia Wars/Vampire Wars last year, and haven’t played since. Yes I know my (naturally human) addictive personality has been replaced by yet another Zynga game. I know there are no copyrights on Hangman, but seriously, Milton Bradley has sued the shit out of everyone who even puts a triple word score box on a screen. Must feel good to be a gangsta.

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Filed under Creative Writing, Day In the Life, Food, Rants, Whining

TGIW (Thank Goodness I’m Whining)

Whining – yeah I had a lot of complaining to do. It’s all justified! The world sometimes decides to turn in the oppostie direction for me. I react in kind.

Firstly last week, I was opening my blueberry Chobani yogurt when I noticed it was a little blue-er than usual. Also fuzzier. How does yogurt mold?! I guess Chobani must have less preservatives than typical yogurt or what not. This also brings up that endlessly unfunny pun about what bacteria-laden yogurt becomes when it goes bad – milk? Cream? Hardy har. Nope I guess it just goes ’badder’.

So I called them up right then, and got through to an operator quickly, which means that they are no inundated with calls about their ironic yogurt. Hipster Yogurt if you will. Please don’t.

Phone Operator Lady gave enough sad vocal inflections of empathy to comfort my harrowing experience and assured me that coupons would be on the way, to pat my head, tell me everything would be ok and fill mah belleh.

 Sure enough, a mere 4 days later, a hand-written addressed envelope arrived with coupons inside. Four of ‘em!

Whining_2.

So there I was ordering from Secondspin.com *no I will not automatically link them, do it yo bad self* as they were having one of their usual limited time (until the next time they have a sale which will be right after the current one; maybe not as good a deal as the one that they had before, but they are set up to rotate, so if you miss it just wait a month or two, because really anything you buy there is not something you need right this second – if it was you would have ordered it at the time you saw the sale, like I did, which is the point of this entry) offers.

So while searching, I found a 2DVD set of THX1138 and The Matrix. If you are a nerd, you just climaxed (by yourself, which is normal). For the other 99% (no not you Occupiers, sit the fuck down), you don’t care or are preparing to make fun of me. Bam! Added to my shopping cart with other stuff, all while ignoring your mockery.

An acceptable amount of time passes (standard shipping) and finally I get it! Hurrah! Only it’s delivered to my parents’ house, even though I set my new address the same as my billing one (which also means I haven’t ordered from them in a long while, sale or no sale). Whatevs. So I pop it open and everything is there. Only thing – the DVD is The Matrix, and only The Matrix. ‘The One’ if you will (Please don’t). Argh.  Dammitall. So I write to them explaining the situation and trying not to sound like the whiny pathetic nerd I am, and they responded, as they promise, within a day.  Have no fear, nerd, we have the correct copy coming for you. Just hold on to what you got as a token of our sorryness.

So I wait, again, for a reasonable amount of time, and about a week or two later, Zaloom! It arrives at my parents’ house, again. I grab the envelope, open it up…it’s another copy of The Matrix! OMGWTFBBQ?! Now it’s just awesomely bad. Two copies of a movie that is incorrect. I email them yet again, and tell them that at this point I have two copies of a movie that is incorrect and I don’t want them, yet I am not willing to pay to ship them back. Never fear nerd, they wrote back (again within a day as they promise) here is a shipping label. Send them back and we will credit or refund your account. Now I just need to swipe an envelope from my office in a fearless act of misappropriation and I am set!

Whining_3.

                Well more of a rant. I cannot stand the downstairs neighbor. He plays his TV loudly (watches old sitcoms, yeah it’s that loud you can tell what show it is by the elaborate theme songs shows USED to have), and puts on oldies – I mean really old oldies. DUSTIES. 95% sure they are records/LPs. At 2am (yes I am an insomniac; I guess he is too). Anyway he sings loudly; usually to his cat. Typical old guy who is going deaf but too cheap to buy a hearing aid. Probably thinks it will make him look/feel old. Hate to give him the news.  But yes it is bad enough that a note on his door will have to be left.

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                Dear Snow,  
Falling on a weekend is pointless, as instead of a SNOW DAY (as in day off work) you are merely a snowy day. Note the lack of emphasis. Pick either a Sunday evening (11pm) or Thursday, same time. I appreciate your time, and hope to see a nice blanket of you during Smarch at the latest, but not when I am looking to leave on vacation.
The B_T
Movie Reviews are next, and I will wonder if I can include movie posters for the shows. I will attempt it!

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Filed under Complaints, Creative Writing, Day In the Life, Rants, Uncategorized, Whining

More whine, less cheese

Wining- Right now a bottle of Kendall-Jackson Summation (white) blend is half-done, after several nights of single glasses. It’s as promised, semi-sweet, no dryness, an underlying honeydew & mild honeysuckle on a creamy base, just a touch of spice to finish and bring me to reality. Not overly fruity, and a clear light yellow. I had this with a medium spicy Manhattan clam chowder; the pairing was ok, though I did not alternate hot soup with chilled wine. It did not clash with the meal, and a glass afterwards cleared my palate. I would drink this again, as I do like it better than the chardonnay, which has a darker yellow color, heavier ‘feel’ in my mouth/tongue and strong perfume/flavor of citrus fruits that does not pair with pasta or fish at all, for me. Perhaps I would pair that with a fish with something like a chutney or mango salsa. Will try it – all in the name of research!

Wreading – Star Wars: Choices of One, Timothy Zahn. An unofficial sequel to “Allegiance”, this book takes the adventures of Zahn-created characters (Mara Jade, Thrawn, the rogue stormtroopers) into a little more depth. Clearly attention needs to be paid to the contexts of ranking, status and mindsets of the characters. As this story takes place between “A New Hope” and “The Empire Strikes Back”, it’s technically ‘filler’, but has it uses in the Expanded Universe.

Whining…in Dining– I wrote a letter to Starbucks, asking why they raised the price of regular coffee the same 10 cents as the skinnydoublemochafrappocrapo with whip- which costs over twice as much, and requires several more steps/equipment/ingredients than my plain ground bean beverage. I won’t be buying SB until I have an answer – will post the letter, and response if I get one. Also wrote a positive/negative letter to Popeye’s; the positives were that the place was clean, and the shift manager had her place running like a well-oiled machine. No attitudes at all. The negative was that they still managed to forget the biscuit in my 3 piece meal deal. The biscuit seals the deal; hell I would have preferred they left out a piece of chicken over the biscuit. Or even the beverage/cup, since I rarely drink soda anyway! Again, will wait on a response.

Wrecipes – I found one for buttermilk biscuits. Yes I will attempt it. I need closure.

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Filed under 50 Books in 2012, Books, Complaints, Compliments, Food, Reading, Recipes, Restaurants, Whining, Wine