Category Archives: Wisdom

A Chocolate Chip off the Old Dog

Dear Nestle Corporation,

Perhaps recently you have received a challenge, double dog dare (not involving buckets of ice, or iced up flagpoles), or other dumbassery humorous rant about the rich warm melty awesomeness of your products.

Well, I am writing to thank you as well! With the addition of dark chocolate chips to your product line, you have accomplished several things. First and foremost, a new chocolate chip ‘option’. Milk Chocolate and Semi-Sweet chips have been the mainstays for a long time; with the addition of Dark Chocolate chips we now have the best of both worlds; the intense flavor of semi sweet chips AND the meltability (not a word, in the dictionary, though I suspect you all have internal buzzwords) of milk chocolate. It is now my go-to for any cookie or baked good that requires it (or if it’s optional, or even if it’s just logically possible).

This leads to a question I have, and I decided that since you have mastered all things chocolate, I would ask. As Ms. ODNT says “Gimme cookies – after all I have my own cow, so the milk sitch is taken care of.” She also says “Never hurts to ask!” (I verified this with her on her FB page. Yes I used trickery, since my Force powers are not quite Master level).

Submitted for your discussion/considerations, the (n) chip cookie. Yes I know, undefined, perhaps even infinite?! How did we get to this point? Well a little unauthorized biography never hurt anyone, so here’s what I have figured out…

First there were chocolate chip cookies. There were also chocolate cookies, and it was inevitable that the two would be spliced together to create double chocolate cookies. At some point afterwards, white chocolate chips crashed the party and the first triple chocolate chip cookie was baked, and enjoyed. Soon claims like ‘ultimate chocolate cookie’ and ‘death by chocolate’ were tossed around, probably because many people don’t know past ‘quadruple’. Including me. So I have the following in mind (which I may or may not have already made, and I will not confirm because if people even suspected I have a cookie like this in my house, well, need I say more?)

  1. A chocolate cookie batter
  2. White Chocolate chips
  3. Milk Chocolate chips
  4. Dark Chocolate chips
  5. Semi-sweet chocolate chips – which means…quintuple chocolate cookies!

But wait! There’s more!

  1. Frosted with melted chocolate – which means…sextuple chocolate cookies! (ok readers, get those ‘a cookie better than sex….tuple?!’ jokes out there).

But wait! There’s even more!

  1. The frosting is spread on the bottom of the cookie and another quintuple chocolate cookie is attached to it. Which means…um…

This is what I wonder – would #7 make it an undecuple cookie ( 5 +6 =11), or would it ‘simply’ be a septuple cookie, as the additional cookie would count as just another ‘topping’?

As well as writing to you, I will be posting this to my blog, asking Ms ODNT to pass it along as well as Ms MelMags (consider also that Mags’ decision on this and anything might be the final word), running a classroom poll, and perhaps asking random people on the street. I feel that we can settle this issue as accurately and chocolaty as possible.

Thank you for your time and for continuing to expand your product, so that our own baking experiences can push the cookie sheet even further.

Peter D.

________

Yes, I will be sending this letter/linking them here.

Yes, Yes I want to know your opinion and/or recipe.

No, I do not have these cookies in my home.

If I did, then yes you can have one.

 

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Filed under Baking, Debates, Food, General Nerdliness, Letters, Polls, Wisdom

Signs of the Times III

Welcome to another chapter in this fine series. Not that there is a shortage of wisdom around, I just don’t feel like editing out the crudely exaggerated genitalia that accompanies it.

thvrg5
On a mailbox across from a school. I guess the best life lessons are learned outside the classroom.

g00df0r7
Proof that fortune cookies are as authentic as pro wrestling.
Well no, I take that back. Nothing is more real than wrasslin’.

50rr33
No idea to whom this was intended, but I am willing to bet that someone else saw this, and thought the person who done them wrong thunk up this creative apology placement, and forgave them.

frevel0n3
Written on one of the beams on the Brooklyn Bridge. 80’s references always melt my heart.

v1p33
4/5/6 station, corner of Canal & Lafayette. You need your gold card to get into this club.
It’s overpriced, hot, crowded and noisy, supposedly part of the twisted romantic vibe, because everyone wants in.

bird442
Side Street of The South Street Seaport. And here, you thought they missed your special day!

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Filed under Day In the Life, Humor, Life, Life in NYC, New York City, Photo Blogs, Photography, Wisdom