Dad Jokes

Dad jokes are like dad bods- secretly appreciated, or so we like to think (they are).

Yeah you have probably heard most of these, but there’s at least a couple new ones for your routine.

• How did the student cross the ocean? On a Scholar ship.

• What do you call it when your cocoa takes too long? Hot Choco-LATE.

• What happens when you step on a grape? It lets out a little wine.

• I’ve invented a DIY surgery kit – It’s called Suture Self.

• What do you get when you freeze Holy Water? Popesicles.

• Did you hear about the cell phone towers that got married? The reception was amazing!

• Remains to be seen…if glass coffins become popular

• IMO, the most remarkable invention ever…was the whiteboard.

• At first I didn’t like having a beard…but it grew on me.

• What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth hurty.

• What happened to the short-tempered doctor? He quickly lost his patients.

• Why do nurses carry red crayons? In case they need to draw blood.

And to close it out, a story length one…

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux, but there’s a long line at the suit shop. He waits and waits, and finally gets his tux.

Next, he has to get some flowers, so he goes to a florist, but there’s a long line. He waits and waits, and finally gets the flowers.

Next he goes to get a limo, but there’s a long line at the limo place. He waits and waits, and finally gets the limo rented.

Finally the day of the prom comes and they head there, but there’s a long line at the entrance. They wait and wait, and finally get into the prom.

They start dancing happily and having a good time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.