A Chocolate Chip off the Old Dog

Dear Nestle Corporation,

Perhaps recently you have received a challenge, double dog dare (not involving buckets of ice, or iced up flagpoles), or other dumbassery humorous rant about the rich warm melty awesomeness of your products.

Well, I am writing to thank you as well! With the addition of dark chocolate chips to your product line, you have accomplished several things. First and foremost, a new chocolate chip ‘option’. Milk Chocolate and Semi-Sweet chips have been the mainstays for a long time; with the addition of Dark Chocolate chips we now have the best of both worlds; the intense flavor of semi sweet chips AND the meltability (not a word, in the dictionary, though I suspect you all have internal buzzwords) of milk chocolate. It is now my go-to for any cookie or baked good that requires it (or if it’s optional, or even if it’s just logically possible).

This leads to a question I have, and I decided that since you have mastered all things chocolate, I would ask. As Ms. ODNT says “Gimme cookies – after all I have my own cow, so the milk sitch is taken care of.” She also says “Never hurts to ask!” (I verified this with her on her FB page. Yes I used trickery, since my Force powers are not quite Master level).

Submitted for your discussion/considerations, the (n) chip cookie. Yes I know, undefined, perhaps even infinite?! How did we get to this point? Well a little unauthorized biography never hurt anyone, so here’s what I have figured out…

First there were chocolate chip cookies. There were also chocolate cookies, and it was inevitable that the two would be spliced together to create double chocolate cookies. At some point afterwards, white chocolate chips crashed the party and the first triple chocolate chip cookie was baked, and enjoyed. Soon claims like ‘ultimate chocolate cookie’ and ‘death by chocolate’ were tossed around, probably because many people don’t know past ‘quadruple’. Including me. So I have the following in mind (which I may or may not have already made, and I will not confirm because if people even suspected I have a cookie like this in my house, well, need I say more?)

1. A chocolate cookie batter
2. White Chocolate chips
3. Milk Chocolate chips
4. Dark Chocolate chips
5. Semi-sweet chocolate chips – which means…quintuple chocolate cookies!

But wait! There’s more!

6. Frosted with melted chocolate – which means…sextuple chocolate cookies! (ok readers, get those ‘a cookie better than sex….tuple?!’ jokes out there).

But wait! There’s even more!

7. The frosting is spread on the bottom of the cookie and another quintuple chocolate cookie is attached to it. Which means…um…

This is what I wonder – would #7 make it an undecuple cookie ( 5 +6 =11), or would it ‘simply’ be a septuple cookie, as the additional cookie would count as just another ‘topping’?

As well as writing to you, I will be posting this to my blog, asking Ms ODNT to pass it along as well as Ms MelMags (consider also that Mags’ decision on this and anything might be the final word), running a classroom poll, and perhaps asking random people on the street. I feel that we can settle this issue as accurately and chocolaty as possible.

Thank you for your time and for continuing to expand your product, so that our own baking experiences can push the cookie sheet even further.

Peter D.

________

Yes, I will be sending this letter/linking them here.

Yes, Yes I want to know your opinion and/or recipe.

No, I do not have these cookies in my home.

If I did, then yes you can have one.

 

Eight Bit of Foolishness

Music of the day:

Being part of the first console generation, I grew up playing games that were paintings on a cave wall compared to today. With so little byte/bit space to work with, developers worked tireless hours to bring us the most basic, repetitive storylines, with graphics that in many cases, were little more than dots, and music that was a random set of sounds done in rhythm. We loved it though.

Apparently we still do.

As technology progressed, each element grew. Gameplay expanded, graphics got better, and the music had actual composers! Hell even Nine Inch Nails made a cameo as a weapon in Quake. Now that my peers and I are older, from our mid 30’s-40’s (some of us passing through another year today!), we look back on those times fondly; the games were no less violent, but blowing up tanks and planes of ‘enemies’ who were undefinable pixels/polygons lends a certain amount of guiltlessness, and fun!

Now, songs are remixed and comments about adolescent moments (more like hours, every day) rushing back are all about how great those games were. I’ve made friends with people based on our agreement that Zak McKraken and the Alien Mindbenders was the single greatest game ever. (Then again, I have also tapped steins with people based on Simpsons quotes and dive bars.

I’ve mentioned this before; in fact, when I looked at the new Windows tablet, I wondered how the hell I would load up the original Quake on that. With Windows 8, I see only a version that is even less likely to be able to load up all my old DOS games.

As quickly as we move forward, still we bring a few things with us along the way.